#015. Mẹ́yìmi. Màámi. Máma.

the different rhythms of calling mom. & my mom taught me that love doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful.

Taofeek Ayeyemi

May 17, 2025

Hey, what's up?

No much intro today.

But I have interesting things to share with you.

Let's go right in.

Here's what I have for you:

•cutting of fingernails

•motherhood and parenting

•some crazy omens around timing

•the techy schoolgirl

•boys are not stones

•the art of naming things

•quotes

•extras

1. I cut my fingernails. Now, I have nothing to scratch my body.

I've been scratching all day, and I'm not feeling the touch.

This cutting was different because I got a guy who cuts fingernails as a service to help with it.

You know, the aboki's.

I've never tried to be helped with cutting before, not by someone close, not by the aboki's.

But I thought to attempt it this day.

It was a smooth cut. He sterilised the scissors. Washed the fingernails with soapy stuff.

But scraping my fingernails' surface was where I felt discomfort. It was harsh. And after all the scraping, I didn't like how they look, especially my hands.

But the cutting was neat and cute. I felt soft.

If, and only if, I'd try them again, I'll only do cutting. Scraping? No!!!

2. It was May 11, and it was International Mother's Day

A mother is a school. Some will say, she is an institution—which broadens the scope for me: to mean not only educational institution, but also moral, interpersonal and financial institution. And truly, I learnt most of these from my mum.

Happy Mother’s Day to the woman who has loved me through every stage, stumble, and success. You’ve taught me that love doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful, and I carry that with me every day. Thanks for always been there whenever we need you.

It's interesting to witness how my wife transitions from womanhood to motherhood, and doing it well.

Happy Mother's Day to my beloved wife, and mother of my Aboki. What is fatherhood without a strong mother that holds the home firmly. Thanks for your love and dedication to the family.

See, no one on earth and in heavens can love you like your mother.

In fact, no matter how intimately some people have adopted you, they can't love you like your parents will. Maybe only the Prophet Muhammad (peace and mercy of Allah be upon him) can. Especially if they have their own kids—these will man the rabbis scepter of their hearts, and you follow.

I've never seen anyone love me like my father.

No one has ever sacrificed for me like my mother.

Your mother might have her madness (permit me to use that word), but try to understand her.

That's not to say that there are no bad mothers. Wòó, oríṣiríṣi ìyá lò wà.

But if you have a good mother, or even a not-so-good mother, cherish her. Cherish her before she is no more (or before you are no more. cuz, life is crazy).

Someone asked the Prophet (pbuh) who deserves our goodness the most. The Prophet (pbuh) said "Your Mother." And the person asked "Who next?" The Prophet (pbuh) responded "Your Mother" for two more times, then said "Your father" the fourth time.

See how the best of mankind had implanted mother's love in our hearts even before we knew what Mother's Day is?

If you're an aspiring mother, a new mother or even still single, Unfiltered with Arike is a topnotch newsletter about motherhood experience, from pregnancy to breastfeeding and everything around it:

Go read and subscribe:

https://unfilteredwitharike.substack.com

Don't say I didn't do anything to help you.

Cheers 🥂

Mẹ́yìmi. Màámi. Máma, the different rhythms of calling mom. There are more other ways, but these ones were common. I use “were” because things have been anglicised today. Just as we now call grandmothers “grandma” instead of “Ìyá Àgbà.”

I was returning to Abeokuta from Lagos and was sat in the middle of two ladies. One Ibukun, the other Ajibike.

Somehow, my eyes caught Ajibike’s phone screen one of the times she was speaking with her mom. And I saw she saved her number as Mẹ́yìmi.

That was the craziest I've seen. We call my mum “Máma.” (Be attentive to the tonality). And I know people who call their mom “Màámi.”

But I've never seen people save their mum's phone number in any of these ways. If not “My Gold”, “Wura Mi,” or “Best Mother”, it will be “Mum” as in my own case. But Mẹ́yìmi, No! 😁

The ladies made me talk from Lagos to Abeokuta. Cuz, why not! Brainy discourses. We exchanged numbers, and I saved Ajibike’s phone number as Ajibike (Mẹ́yìmi). But I did not tell her about this at all, till date. Maybe she'd know if she reads this newsletter, and tell us in the comment why she choose that 😊

3. Is it only me?

Or, does it happen to everyone, too?

Have you observed that it is when you're in a hurry to get somewhere that unnecessary delays come your way?

Like, if you need to get somewhere by 09:00am, and you set out by 06:30am for the 1½ hour journey, things go on smoothly and you'll arrive timeously.

But once you set out late by 08:00am, rubbish things begin to happen that will get you even later than normal.

If the car engine belt did not cut, you'll begin to have a running stomach and spend the next 30 minutes in the toilet.

Sometimes, e be like village people at work, or some forces always waiting for such moment in order to work against you.

It happens almost all the time to me, whenever I set out late.

In case you've wondered why I arrive before time to events and invites, it's the workings of this fate. And if you've worried that I arrive too late, na this fate at play.

In short, it happened to me this week. Exactly what I narrated above.

And there's this thing about fellowship—making friends almost everywhere you go, it has salvaging benefits you'll enjoy expectedly.

My first time in that court, after I was done with my matter, I walked up to a lawyer. I asked if he resides within that jurisdiction, to which he answered in affirmative.

So this day, I chatted him and he was present in the court at the time. And I told him to hold my brief (that is, to address the court on my behalf when my matter is called).

Fortunately, my matter was still far on the list. And I arrived before it was my turn.

4. I met a techy schoolgirl,

as I stepped out of the Court building. She was chatting with a Corper.

I heard her say: I don't use ..... to run my code. You know, I work on react.j and the .... container works well for me...

The Corper cut in, and said: "what about ....."

To which she said, "I'm just starting out on ….." I didn't hear that clearly, but my brain programmed it to be Docker or Kubernetes.

The Corper asked a question, which I think was about dev., and she said, 'I don't know that.'

And the Corper went on to tell her the benefits of dev. and all that.

No be say a dey eavesdrop, but her mention of "react.j" and "container" got my attention. Especially kubernetes.

Like, Omoh. Something I knew just in 2023, a secondary school girl has known it at such tender age.

I've written well about managing applications on Kubernetes. So I have known containerised applications as a modern day result of software development. And many thanks to Kubernetes. It makes the orchestration of softwares very easy, from development to deployment.

Knowing about software development at her age is something, friends.

I must also add that she's better than me, in that I am a non-tech tech person, while she's a techy tech person.

And I wish her the very best in that journey.

5. Boys are Not Stones

May 16 is the International Day of the Boy Child.

And I can't but appreciate those who push for this till it got recognised and fixed. Notable pioneer is Dr. Jerome Teelucksingh from Trinidad and Tobago.

Although not yet officially recognised by the United Nations—which showcases their thoughtlessness—it has been in practice since 2018.

I recall JCV curating annual anthologies for this purpose, to which I strongly lend my voice with my poems.

I have a poem titled “boys are not stones” in the Boys are Not Stones Anthology and “i want to look myself in the mirror and see a god” in the A Country of Broken Boys Anthology.

Before sharing these poems, I'll quickly state the purpose of the day.

Firstly, the International Boys Day is to recognise that boys' well-being matters and their challenges need to be catered for. It encourages us to appreciate the positive contributions the boys make to their communities and families.

Furthermore, the Day is a way to hold conversations around Boys’ concerns and raise awareness about their needs. It also emphasizes why society should be involved in helping to raise and support them.

Celebrated annually on May 16, starting from 2018, the Day has focused on various themes:

2018: "Stand up, Be heard, Be seen."

2019: "Supporting Boys, Reclaiming Our Heritage."

2020: "Empowering, guiding, and providing role models for a peaceful world."

2021: "Guiding the Boy Child: positively impacting the world."

2022: "Boosting Optimism, Restoring Self-worth."

2023: "Boys and Mental Health."

2024: "Cool Boys: Managing Anger and Aggression."

2025: "Building Self-esteem in Boys: Stand Up, Be Heard, Be Seen."

These themes highlight the importance of supporting boys' emotional, social, and mental health, as well as their potential to be positive contributors to society.

Boys are soft and tender like their female counterparts. Do not put burden on them. Do not pressurise them with unnecessary expectations. Offer them help, and raise them to be responsible and kind.

In my father's house, boys cook. We make the bed. We sweep. We weed the compound. In short, boys don't sit around while girls do house chores. In the same vein, boys are not burdened with what they can't do because they are males. And we are not booed for not doing that.

So, boys! May you have the courage to be whoever you want to be. Happy International Boys’ Day to you 🤝

6. The art of naming things.

I went to the Federal High Court, Abeokuta for filing. As we battle the network and traffic congestion on the remita site, a staff mentioned they now have a mosque behind the office building. Since it was time for Zuhr, I went for Salat. On getting there, I was urged to lead the congregation.

As I was returning to the Cashier's office, I saw a praying mantis on a flower.

Yoruba calls it "dákó-dákó."

The etymology of the English name is easily figured: its arms are folded in the shape of praying.

But why dákó-dákó?

Dákó-dákó literally translates to "pennis incisor."

And I wondered if the ant use to target human's pennis, or it was so named to scare kids away.

But further reasoning made me consider it might have emanated from the ant's arm's semblance with the shape of the local blade for incision.

Whichever it is, it is what it is because that's what we want it to be called. That's what its nomenclature dictated.

“[Motherhood is] one of the toughest jobs. Not so hard to have a child, if you are fortunate, even more blessed if they are healthy, but to bring them up to know love and the strength to be a happy, functioning adult in this tough world is no mean task. Add to that a mother who may have disabilities of her own.”
—Carina Barnett

"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."

— Abraham Lincoln

"A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
— Agatha Christie

"Motherhood is the greatest thing and the best thing."

— Diana, Princess of Wales

"A boy's story is the best story in the world."
— Charles Dickens

"Every boy is a bit of a poet, a bit of an artist, a bit of a scientist, and a bit of a philosopher. It's our job to nurture that.".

— Unknown

"A son is a promise that you will always have someone to love and protect."
— Unknown

"The greatest gift a father can give his son is good habits."

— Unknown

"Boys will be boys, but good boys will be boys who grow up to be good men."
— Unknown

"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see."

— John F. Kennedy

"The test of a civilization is the way that it cares for its helpless members."
— Pearl S. Buck

"You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop."

— Rumi

"He who has lost his roots is lost."
— African Proverb

"A nation that forgets its past has no future."

— Winston Churchill

•extras

Today, I'll not be sharing with you what I read, am reading, or stumbled upon on the internet.

Rather, I'll share with you what I am currently doing: a Business Plan & Grant Proposal Writing Course.

If you are a businessowner or even a tech startup,

and are looking to attract investors or secure crucial funding for your business;

or even want clarity in your business and crack code for unique marketing and sales strategies?

This hands-on course will guide you step-by-step from concept to completion on how to draft compelling BUSINESS PLAN and GRANT PROPOSAL.

Join this immersive course to transform your business ideas into strategic, fundable plans.

APPLY NOW TO SECURE YOUR SPOT!

Check FLYER for contact/payment details . . .

See you in class.

…and in my next newsletter.

What do you enjoy about today's post?

What are things you expect next?

Let's jaw-jaw in the comment section.

Àdìtú

Discussion about this post