#012. Grief is in Stages

It's easy to say, 'At least you have your life,' but those words often feel hollow in the face of profound loss.

Apr 19, 2025

"I've been stooling for 3 days" or "It's been 3 days that I last defecated" are two opposite concerns that call for great attention.

I recently felt a stung of stomach ulcer. It came fast and went same way. But I felt it. Even though I've once lived my life battling ulcer, I didn't get use to that sting when it came again.

Pain is pain. Even if it touches us differently.

Yes. Grief, pain, and loss happens to us in different ways and forms, and human receives it uniquely.

You wonder how children react to strokes of cane differently? Same lashes from same beater, but different reactions.

I was making a draft about the California fire in January before other activities took me away. I won't discard it. I'll reproduce it here.

Omoh. Many things have happened since January. But then, let's dive into a few insights I have to share.

Here's what I have for you:

•reflexions
•my reads
•quotes
•hmmm!🤔
•hahaha!🤣
•haaa🥲

reflexions

1. California fire

The California wild fire was really devastating. It ate a large chunk of Los Angeles. And it aches everytime I come across a news about or see images of the disaster. I sympathise with everyone who have lost even the littlest of things to the tumult.

About 29 people died, more than 18,000 buildings were burnt down, and thousands of people were sent on the run, leaving their homes.

Among many impacts, being displaced is a terrible experience. Imagining it alone gives me a sharp, quick headache. And no matter how emotional we get towards disasters, we are only approaching it from the witness perspective still. Those who have the actual experience are the true narrators; and some are no longer alive to narrate a scene.

Hollie McKay puts it succinctly when she wrote:

"Losing everything to a wildfire, a war, or any other natural or manufactured disaster is a devastation few can fully comprehend. It's easy to say, 'At least you have your life,' but those words often feel hollow in the face of profound loss."

The fire started around 10:10 pm on January 7 and spread to 50 acres within 10 minutes. It was reported to have been caused by a hunter's "illegal" fire that got out of control as a result of drought and other weather conditions. The fire lasted for 24 days, as it ended on January 31.

This reminded me of the Australian wildfire of 2019. I wrote an article about it, wherein I proffered pragmatic panaceas to the problems. that. Titled "Fire Everywhere: How the World Burns through Australia," you can go read it here. https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1C7H3u8E2J/?mibextid=oFDknk

Once again, I sympathise with the people of Los Angeles, California. I have a sort of connection with the city: my haibun collection "Dust & Rust" was published by Buttonhook Press, based out in California. And I've once judged a contest, the 2022 San Francisco International Haibun Contest, organized by the Haiku Poets of Northern California. https://www.hpnc.org/2022

And yes, I reached out to the publisher and the organizer of the contest via email. I was relieved to know that they and their various businesses were fine.

2. Palestine

According to Wikipedia, "As of March 2025, the State of Palestine is recognized as a sovereign state by 147 of the 193 member states of the United Nations, or just over 75% of all UN members."

And it gets me wondering how minority appears superposing and carrying the vote at United Nations. This is the evil of having a set of people solely or chiefly funding and providing resources for an organisation of many. If funds and resources are contributed equally and so managed, the continuous disrespect for the United Nations directives would have ceased.

Because, it's a shame that international humanitarian laws are made worthless papers and their custodians become toothless bulldogs. And when oppressors are backed by the powers, it is finished.

Palestine is not alone, we recall the Russia-Ukraine genocide too. Israel keeps breaking ceasefire without consequence—recent being that of 18 March 2025— just as USA have variously disobeyed humanitarian laws with no consequences.

The invasion of Palestinian land is called the Nakba, and the etymology of the pogrom is depicted in the following charts:

Territorial war has ruining effects. There's a war within war: war of attrition– a defeat strategy where humanitarian aids are blocked from reaching the oppressed. And the Palestinians have suffered great oppression. Oppression has no other name than oppression.

3. CBEX

The antecedent of CBex is no longer a news. How they cart away with Nigerians' money to the tune of N1.3 trillion through their dubious scheme. If you are a victim, I have an information for you:

You can sue CBEX! 🙂

And here is how 👇

Before the how. I made my first remark today on CBEX. It is that 'those among CBEX victims who use to glorify Yahoo boys now feel and experience exactly what Yahoo boys' victims often go through.'

I hope they learn from this that stealing is stealing. Name it whatever you like.

Back to this: you can sue CBEX.

But, can you get back your money? It requires some litigation antics & tactics, if you have the money to run am. If you've not sold home and away put for CBEX. This is because our first legal tussle will be about the legality and enforceability of the scheme.

Research revealed that CBEX is a subsidiary of ST Investment Co. Ltd. That is, it's registered with CAC. They also got SCUML from EFCC. What it takes is to conduct search and get the names on the registration papers. And there you have the co-defendants.

The CBEX App looks like a cryptocurrency exchange app, where you trade coins/tokens with the help of an AI. This makes it enforceable in Court.

But what makes that questionable is the aspect that says invest $100 to get $200 in return. This changes everything to Ponzi scheme.

And the aspect that asks you to bring people so you can climb up a ladder makes it a Pyramid scheme. These are the enforceability issues, and can render the argument an academic exercise.

Finally, someone introduced CBEX to me, but Islamic law saved me from the scheme due to the last two features. When you place a business in the scale of Shariah and it fails, no matter how profitable it is, it becomes illegal.

Shine your eyes!

•my reads

Patrice Lumumba on Israel-Palestine War

Bibliosmia Book Club

If you are based in Abeokuta, join Bibliosmia Book Club:
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CyLGinEr7inEW2LezgpeEl

If you know someone living in Abeokuta, share it with them.

•quotes

"Change is scary but eventually the fear of staying the same will become bigger than fear of change."

—Aarjoo Kharb

Its said that writers heal their wounds by completely exposing them.

—Aarjoo Kharb

"A home is not just four walls—it holds memories, milestones, and the essence of a life constructed piece by piece."

—Hollie McKay

"It's against the bro code to hit on a bro's target when he had already raised the white flag".

—Falz

The self in poetry is the power to differentiate, consistently living that path where many wouldn't dare.

—Tares Oburumu

I write because I want to write, not because they want me to write.

—Tares Oburumu

Faith defies logic.

—Jide Badmus

Miracles are peculiar. They are not regular occurrences, mostly, they are an exception to the rule—rare interventions at the point of direness.

—Jide Badmus

You don’t dare guns—you pray on the run. The reality is, most times when faced by danger, we forget to pray.

—Jide Badmus

There’s no manual for grief—applying same logic, expressions of joy shouldn’t be banistered, so far there’s no hint of malice.

—Jide Badmus

•hmmm!🤔

I watched this since Christmastide and it filled me with joy. I thought to share the feeling with you too. Mr. Bluemax helped a man go home to his family with gifts:

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19CMtJKabt/?mibextid=oFDknk